She’s got the kind of look that defies gravity
She’s the greatest cook, and she’s fat free

She’s been to private school,
And she speaks perfect French
She’s got her perfect friends
Oh, isn’t she cool?

She practices Tai Chi
She’d never lose her nerve
She’s more than you deserve
She’s just far better than me
Hey, hey

So don’t bother
I won’t die of deception
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
Don’t feel sorry

And don’t bother
I’ll be fine,
But she’s waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don’t bother, be unkind

I’m sure she doesn’t know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don’t you think so?

She’s almost six feet tall
She must think I’m a flea
I’m really a cat you see
And it’s not my last life at all
Hey, hey

So don’t bother
I won’t die of deception
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
Don’t feel sorry

Don’t bother
I’ll be fine
But she’s waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don’t bother, be unkind

For you, I’d give up all I own,
And move to a communist country,
If you came with me, of course
And I’d file my nails, so they don’t hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about football
If it made you stay, but you won’t, but you won’t

So don’t bother
I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine
I promise you won’t ever see me cry
And after all I’m glad that I’m not your type
I promise you won’t ever see me cry

Don’t bother,
I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine
I promise you won’t ever see me cry

And after all I’m glad that I’m not your type,
Not your type, not your type, not your type
I promise you won’t ever see me cry